The babies, the first months, do not play more on the sensitive cord of tears, to put our love to the test. But then, it can happen ... Some crises of tears are a way to attract the attention of their parents ...
No whim in babies
- Before 1 year, a child is never capricious. The "weeping" babies, those who stop screaming when their mother hugs them and starts over again as soon as she puts them down, actually only express a need. More than others, they need physical contact during the first months of their life, because they are not sufficiently secure. They must really be "supported" by their mother's arms. "
- Tears are the only way he can grab our attention when he is not feeling well. Wanting to teach him to do without us at that time would only make him more anxious.
And after ?
- Growing up, things get tough!
- The pseudo-sobs start from the top of the chest and not from the belly (... "guts")! If we are dealing with a beginner simulator, they are not even accompanied by these little drops that follow the tip of his nose!
- This is a manipulation! He understood that with tears he was getting much more than with cries and fury. In this case, it's useless to encourage him ...
- "These false tears drag the child into the path of confusion, and he may become accustomed to shedding tears instead of other emotions he can not express: desire, anger ..." warns Isabelle Filliozat, psychotherapist.
- Let's ask him to stop crying and just tell us what he really wants. If he does not have the words to express it, suggest the answer: "You are angry, because I did not want to give you cake, but I do not think you're really sad."
- We will help him to see more clearly and avoid making an adult who stings anger when he is unhappy or who burst into tears ... instead of giving vent to his anger!